Leaving Home

   One of the hardest things I have ever had to do was leave my beloved hometown. Bismarck, ND had been my home for thirty some years from 1979 to 2018.

   I packed up a U-Haul and towed my car, with my cat Wulfric on my lap I made that sixteen hour drive straight through to Peru, IL. Destination, my parents house, To help them as they are aging and will need me.

   I left my four daughters and my ten grandchildren behind. I cried the entire trip and for a year I cried myself to sleep. I never knew homesickness, but I was getting a large dose of it now.

   My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer the first few months after my arrival, I knew I made the right decision, but I still missed my family. My dad was diagnosed with dementia and has had several strokes and is now in a nursing home. 

   I have been here almost seven years, I hate it. I have no friends. The women here have their cliches and will not let you in. Something I never had a problem with back home. 

   I do have one good thing going for myself and that's a very good paying job something I never had back home. But when I retire I wanna go home. I am so lonely here, yes I have my parents and my brothers, but I have always been the caretaker of the family. I took care of my grandkids, my parents and I have helped my brothers. I want to be taken care of, I want to travel, see the world, maybe take one of my kids or grandchildren with.

   I know God put me on this journey for a reason and I do get to go back home once a year to see my kids and grandchildren, but it just doesn't seem fair.

  I had this shirt made for me because it's how I feel.

   I started this blog for my own personal journal for some insight, heeling and maybe some laughter. I have dreams even at the age of almost sixty. I have hopes and dreams. I have love to give.